Hillary Clinton: I'm So Glad You Asked!

Mac Johnson is, again, awesome:

America’s trust in the Clintons suffered a horrible blow last week, when it was discovered that Hillary Clinton’s campaign staff had planted the “spontaneous” questions being asked by audience members at an Iowa campaign event.

"They were canned,” Muriel Gallo-Chasanoff (a Grinnell College student attending the performance) said of the questions that Clinton took. In a remarkable coincidence, Clinton’s answers seemed quite polished -- almost prepared, really.

This was truly only a coincidence, though, according to Clinton’s widely trusted campaign staff, which at first denied planting any questions. Then, under a gathering mountain of evidence, her staff admitted planting one question, but claimed that no one told Clinton there was a planted question in the crowd or with whom the fraudulent question had been planted. In other words, Clinton called on the correct person, who asked the correct question, to which Clinton gave a very specific answer, but Clinton did not inhale before giving that answer.

The staff also claimed that the only time they have ever planted a question in the audience was the one time they got caught doing so. And if people were dumb enough to believe that line, the divorce rate would be a lot lower.

In yet another remarkable coincidence, shortly after claiming they have never planted any other question, the Rev. Geoffrey Mitchell, a Democrat minister came forward to report that a Clinton staffer had tried to convince him to ask a planted question at a different dog and phony show in Iowa.

Clinton’s staff immediately denied this, then provided a parsed explanation of the denial. Sure a staffer talked to the man, they said, and they discussed the general concept of questions as a grammatical concept, but nobody was asked to ask any questions – and, besides, the staffer and the Reverend Mitchell were old buddies just talking about politics and the whole thing is therefore just a misunderstanding. Rev. Mitchell denies knowing the staffer at all, except by name. Apparently, the first question the staffer should have asked the Reverend was “You aren’t an Obama supporter, are you?”

See -- it’s a misunderstanding.

But let’s get back to the original incident and marvel at how well the answer fit the question, which was planted, but totally unknown to Sen. Mrs. Bill Clinton:

Muriel Gallo-Chasanoff: “As a young person, I'm worried about the long-term effects of global warming. How does your plan combat climate change?

Clinton: "Well, you should be worried. You know, I find as I travel around Iowa that it's usually young people that ask me about global warming." Clinton then went on to describe her plan for saving the world

Well, of course it’s usually young people that ask that question, the staff tells the old folks to ask about social security and prescription drugs.

Everything would have gone just fine with the planted question, except that Gallo-Chasanoff, apparently new to the Democrat Party’s style of politics, decided to reveal the dishonesty. "[T}hey wanted a question from a college student,” Ms. Gallo-Chasanoff later told reporters. “One of the senior staffers told me what [to ask].”

In light of these damaging revelations of Clinton’s claimed ignorance of the malfeasance of a senior staff member, and maybe some other guy who was probably just misunderstood by the long-time friend he had just met, Sen. Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton has been anxious to talk to members of the press to explain things, and I’m proud and quite shocked to say that I was granted an interview with her this weekend, shortly after I received a new 12-cylinder Audi A8L from an unknown benefactor (a remarkable coincidence). A transcript is below: ...

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