The vast World Cup conspiracy must be stopped...

The Islamic Courts have ordered cinemas shut down to prevent the showing of World Cup matches.

Joint Islamic Courts deputy chairman AbdulKadir Ali Omar:

"This is war against all people who show films that promote pornography, drug dealing and all forms of evil...We shall not even allow the showing of the World Cup because they corrupt the morals of our children whom we endeavour to teach the Islamic way of life."

Very nice. You want to really irritate people...turn off World Cup football.

Here is Omar's boss...not a nice man. "Popular uprising"...my ass.

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