Monday, July 24, 2006

How to deal with our dependence on foreign toil...

Mac JohnsonMac is back, with Instant Mexicans!

... [D]espite the critical national need for illiterate labor, America still remains addicted to foreign toil. It is therefore critical that America seek domestic toil alternatives immediately. We must become peon-energy independent in the 21st Century!

The good news is that America is already half-way to "peonergy" independence: our public school system produces millions of illiterates every year! Why then do we remain so addicted to foreign illiterates, the backbone of a healthy modern economy? The short answer is "motivation." It is not enough to merely produce throngs of unintelligible ignoramuses; they must also be well motivated by desperation and hardship -- and this is where America has taken a wrong turn on the path toward increased domestic toil supplies. We foolishly feed our underclass for free!

While Mexico and its neighbors wisely leave their poor to discover the joys of independent employment in the exciting field of working in fields, America has taken its most valuable economic resource, the illiterate laborer, and turned them all into shiftless and expensive layabouts suckling noisily at the teat of the morbidly obese welfare state. ...

... Therefore, I modestly propose the following one-step plan to finally unlock the potential of America’s uneducated future. Next month, instead of a welfare check, food stamps, housing voucher, or other public assistance, every welfare recipient in America will receive a green card in the mail. Accompanying the green card will be a map of America, with all day labor centers marked by large dollar symbols. The connection between work and wages will all be explained in the enclosed note:

Congratulations! You are already in America and entitled to work! (This saves you all the trouble of sneaking in and demanding amnesty from the Republicrat Congress.) You will still receive a monthly check capable of supporting you at the level to which you have become accustomed. However, it will now come from “Gabrielli Brothers Landscaping" (or some other business in need of your valuable unskills) and they may expect you to cut a little grass first (or perform some other such unskilled labor). Welcome to America! Now get to work!
Read it all... here, or listen... here.

A previous genius idea from Mac involving adding the Fair Tax to the immigration debate/bill... here.


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